The Bride of the Werewolf
So, the weirdest thing happened last night. Everything was going fine until about a half hour until my bedtime. My big brother, Jeremy, decided to take a shower (a rare event since he turned 14), so my mom made me let the dog out.
Our yard is fenced in, but some one has to stay out there and make sure Maxie doesn't dig up Dad's herb garden. I keep telling him if cares so much about his stupid rosemary, he should put a fence up, so the dog can just go out by herself, but Dad says boring, senseless tasks help make me a well-rounded young individual. Although, I think extra dessert and extra tablet time would help me become a more well-rounded individual. But what do I know? I'm ten, and he's like, what, sixty? Forty? I can't tell with adults.
Anyways, Maxie was sniffing around, and moments away from doing her business when, suddenly, this ear-piercing, blood-curdling howl scared us both. Maxie's ears perked right up, and she forgot all about her business. She started looking all over the place trying to find.... well, whatever it was. Meanwhile, I was screaming at her, "Come on, Maxie! Inside! Let's go, Maxie!" Unlike her, I had no interest in finding out what what could make a sound like that. I gave up on calling her and just ran to her. I figured I could grab her collar and haul her up the deck and toss her inside.
Unluckily for me, it didn't turn out that way.
I got about halfway across the yard when I saw... it. It was huge. Like seven feet tall huge. It had pointy ears and a long face. Its blood-red eyes glowed in the moonlight. His large tongue worked its way around each of his razor-sharp teeth. I stood motionless as my eyes tried to tell my brain what I was seeing.
A werewolf. There was a giant werewolf in my backyard.
The thing took a step towards me. I felt my heart jump into my throat. The monster looked me over and started drooling. I took a few steps backwards and put my hands out, "Hold on big, fella. I know what you're thinking. You want a snack, I get it. But I'm so little. Maybe you'd want my brother? My big brother? Give me a minute, and I'll go get him."
Either the werewolf couldn't understand me, or he could smell Jeremy from the back yard, because it jumped at me with its sharp claws out and mouth open wide. I crouched down into a ball, covered my head, closed my eyes, and hoped he ate me in one bite. Then, from behind me, I hear a low growl and the beating of feet. I looked up to see Maxie fly over my head and pounce on that giant werewolf's massive head. The two collapsed in a furry heap. Maxie bit and scratched at that monster's face and chest, but he was so big he just stood up, pulled her off, and held her by her collar. The werewolf looked her up and down and sniffed her ears. His tail wagged. His ears perked up. He let out a long, high-pitched howl and licked Maxie's face.
That’s when I realized that this werewolf was in love with my dog.
Before I could yell at him, the werewolf jumped our fence and ran into my neighbor's back yard. I thought about yelling for mom and dad, but they would've taken forever to get their slippers on and grab their robes. That monster was moving fast, so I had to, too. I bolted towards the fence. I couldn't jump over it like he did, so I had to hike a leg on to it and hoist the rest of my body over it. It took way longer than I thought it would, and I may have ripped the bottom of my pants a little. Maybe I was getting a little too well-rounded. I caught my breath and saw just the tail of the werewolf as he ran around the neighbors house. I ran as fast as I could after him, but by the time I got there, he had disappeared somewhere on Front Street.
I looked up and down the road, but I saw no sign of the werewolf or Maxie. I felt tears well up behind my eyes and something lump up in my throat, but I pushed them both back down. I curled my hands around my mouth and yelled the one thing that I knew was guaranteed to get a reaction out of my dog, "Maxie! Treat time!"
I heard barking and growling come from the bushes a few houses down. I ran towards them and added, "Maxie, it's BACON treat time!" The werewolf fell out of the bushes and struggled to hold Maxie. She was wiggling thrashing around like a hooked fish. Finally, she chomped down on his big, hairy arm. The werewolf howled and let go. Maxie gave him a quick bark and ran to me.
We ran around the block as fast as we could. Over the pounding of my shoes and the scratching of Maxie's nails on the pavement, I could hear the werewolf's steps getting faster and closer.I don't know what made me think of it, maybe it was my own instinct kicking in or maybe I just went a little crazy, but I looked down to Maxie and whispered, "Bacon treat. Lay down for a bacon treat."
Maxie stopped dead in her tracks and collapsed on the pavement. I hit the deck and covered my head with my arms. I peeked between the my left hand and my right elbow at the werewolf chasing after us. His eyes bulged out of his head as he tried to stop. He zigged around Maxie but couldn't zag around me. I felt his big foot scrape across my back. His claws ripped four thin lines across my shirt. The tumbled head first and did three somersaults right into a huge patch of mud.
Maxie wasted no time. She charged at that monster, growling and drooling all the way. She pounced on him and bit his ears and scratched his back. The werewolf didn't lash out at her or try to bite her back or even try to run off with her again. He did something I didn't think werewolves could do.
I don't know if you've ever heard a werewolf cry, but it sounds like a dog's whine only with a man's sniffles and tears. Only louder. Much, much louder.
I yelled for Maxie to come, but she ignored me. Again. I almost mentioned bacon treats, but I figured I should probably give it a rest since I had promised her two already, and Dad's worried about her getting a little well-rounded, so I carefully but quickly walked up to her and pulled her off the weeping werewolf. Then I saw it, he had hurt his arm when he tumbled into the mud. His arm dangled at his shoulder just like mine did when I was plaiying volleyball in his in P.E. and missed the ball. I swung my arm so hard at nothing that it popped itself out of place. I think the nurse said I dislocated it, which is what this big, monstrous baby had done and wouldn't stop yelping about.
I grabbed Maxie by the collar and (trying my best imitation of Dad) growled, "Sit, Maxie. Stay." She sat and stayed. I turned to the werewolf and knelt down to his side. Using my softest Mom tones, I asked the monster what was wrong. He sniffled and pointed to his shoulder.
"It's ok," I patted him on his big head and wiped my hand on my pajama pants. He smelled like Maxie after she went swimming in my grandma's pond one summer. "Maybe this is why we don't steal people's dogs, huh?"
Just like the nurse did to me, I gently placed my hand on his hurt shoulder and grabbed his wrist. "This might hurt just a bit, sweetheart," I said, knowing full well it will hurt very much and ache for days afterwards. I yanked up on the beast's bum shoulder, and he howled so loudly that I almost didn't hear his arm crack and pop back into place. Almost.
After a few more whines and yells, I helped the werewolf back to his giant feet. He hung his head and tucked his tail between his legs. "I hope you learned a lesson today, buddy," I put my hands on my hips and gave him a look I had received several times from my dad. He shook his head and wiped the snot from his snout. I ruffled his greasy hair and patted his back, "Alright, now get out of here."
The werewolf got back down on all fours. Well, "threes" I guess, since he pulled his hurt arm up to his chest before he ran off. "Don't let me see you around here again, mister!" I yelled after him.
Maxie and I walked home. The pale moon lit up the neighborhood better than any street light. We came in through the back door, so Mom and Dad wouldn't be suspicious. I could've told them about the monster and our ordeal, but since when do adults believe cool stuff like that?
I walked to the sink to wash the werewolf fur off my hands when I heard my Mom scream, "What in the world! Maxie!"
Then, my Dad came stomping into the kitchen, looked down, and yelled, "Its everywhere!"
I looked at the floor and saw countless muddy Maxie prints from the back door all the way down the hall to my parent's room. Even worse, I found muddy me prints leading to the sink. I looked down at my feet and discovered that from my knees down, it looked like I was wearing sticky, brown boots. Maxie came running down the hall with a big goofy grin. It looked like she was wearing the boots, too.
Long story short, I didn't even get to explain it to my parents. They just told me to clean myself, Maxie, and the floor before they woke up. Then, they went to bed, stepping over Maxie's muddy prints.
Later that night I as I scrubbed the hallway floor, I heard a long, far off howl from outside. Maxie, who was fast asleep and still slightly wet from her bath, rolled over and snored.
"Next time, I'm asking for a cat," I promised myself.